Contracts or how to avoid a divorce

The wedding wave has arrived in Cambridge. Over the past 3 months, 4 of my brilliant classmates decided to get engaged. As I plan a trip to Pakistan to attend one wedding, I have started to think on what makes a marriage successful?

My answer to that was: contract theory! Marriages should be viewed as partnership contract between two people and not as romantic fate. Before people start thinking that I'm a cold-hearted bitch, I have to say I'm actually more romantic than most people: I want a marriage that lasts, I don't think I could go through a divorce without losing my mind. That said: let's analyze contract theory a little bit.

As we have learned in contract theory class, to draw a good contract you must go through 3 phases: gather internal information of what you want to achieve in the partnership, negotiate and explicit the deal terms with your counterpart, codify it so a third party can enforce the contract at an eventual breach. Problems arise because contracts are incomplete: you can never foresee all the possibilities of life when you draw a contract and there is a possibility that one of the parties may want to renegotiate the contract because they feel that unforeseen events have altered they payoff of the partnership.

If you're lost in the economics-jargon, worry not, my dear.

To have a successful marriage you have to first understand who you are and what you expect from a marriage (how many hours you want to dedicate to the family vs. work, how many kids you wanna have, what kind if education you want to give them, how you feel about savings vs spending, how ambitious are you, should you have a TV on the living room or in the bedroom, etc.). When you have that clear you can talk to your partner (who also knows what  s/he wants) and you can understand the other and compromise to codify the mutual understanding into one marriage contract. You know your role and you trust the other to follow their role. If people took the time to actually understand what they want and communicate it to the partner, I think many divorces (aka contract renegotiation) would be avoided because we would have a better contract on the first place.

In my view, marriage contracts should have already stated that they will have periodic revisions as to make sure that the partners are still happy after so many unforeseen events (aka life) happen.

My only caveat would be: DO NOT OVER-REGULATE! I personally hate to be micro-managed and would be annoyed to the point of leaving the negotiation table if I had a partner that would insist on negotiating details such appropriate skirt length, authorized nail polish colors, appropriate time spent on bed on Sunday mornings, etc, etc. Just let me be!

Synapses

1 - Education
I have been more and more convinced that to tackle the low-quality-education challenge that haunts Brazil (and many other countries that have already achieved universal schooling) will have to go through the market or quasi-market forces.
And then I found this book describing that he founds that private schools are providing quality education for poor people in poor countries. Interesting. Aid Watch has a wonderful analysis of it here. My favorite part? "Most reasons that the parents gave for their choice had to do with what the World Bank calls the “short route” to accountability (as opposed to the “long route” which works through the political process)"

2 - China Investment in the World
A map of China non-asset investment in the World can be found here. The DR of Congo received US$7.9 billion form 2005 to 2009 (China is investing heavily in their copper mines and basic infrastructure as roads, railroads and hospitals). DR of Congo GDP? Find it here - but it's now US$ 10.8 bi. Yes, you can see exactly when China started investing in the country

Silences

A - Silent Nights

I lay in bed, looking at the ceiling. You’re lying next to me, half asleep. I’m crying – in silence. I open my mouth in vain: I cannot articulate any word. I want to tell you how confused and insecure I am.

You don’t notice the tears or the quiet struggle.

I insist on my useless attempts to speak - air is expelled from my mouth, but no sound is formed. I feel like there’s a rock on my chest – pushing me into the bed, making me short of breath and immobile. I can physically feel the rock – my chest hurts from its weight and pressure.

I stare at the ceiling, defeated. You’re still oblivious.

One night. Two nights. So many nights of this lonesome silent ballet.

I cry a little bit more in the dark, making sure I’ll not wake you from your drunken maze.

B - Silent eyes

somewhere i have never travelled, gladly beyond

any experience, your eyes have their silence:

in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,

or which i cannot touch because they are too near

your slightest look easily will unclose me

though i have closed myself as fingers,

you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens

(touching skillfully, mysteriously) her first rose

or if your wish be to close me, i and

my life will shut very beautifully ,suddenly,

as when the heart of this flower imagines

the snow carefully everywhere descending;

nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals

the power of your intense fragility; whose texture

compels me with the color of its countries,

rendering death and forever with each breathing

(i do not know what it is about you that closes

and opens; only something in me understands

the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)

nobody, not even the rain, has such small hands

e.e. cummings

Oysters

“Such mechanisms are analogous to the involuntary grace by which an oyster, coping with an irritating grain of sand, creates a pearl,” he writes. “Humans, too, when confronted with irritants, engage in unconscious but often creative behavior.”

From this very good article on what makes us happy.

2009 surely gave me enough pearls to make a necklace.

Cats in my life

I had two very pleasant surprises today: one came by mail - it made me nostalgic - the other was waiting for me on my desk - it made me grateful for my life in Cambridge.

It also reminded me of how much cats have been a part of my life. I never had a cat so it's much more the simbology than the affection to one specific feline that have been a constant in my life.

In (kind of) chronological order:

1 - Aristocats: it was my favorite movie when I was a small kid. I just wonder how I watched it as we never had a VCR in my house...


2 - Os Saltimbancos: this is very much a Brazilian reference. But I grew up in a country with very limited access to foreign goods (Pringles were a MAJOR luxury product) and therefore have a lot of memories with Brazilian musics and products. The Saltimbancos was a very good story LP (with music and story telling) from Chico Buarque about 4 animals (a donkey, a cat, a dog and a hen) that wanted to escape the abuse of their mean and abusive human owners and discover that they are powerful if they stick together. Major political message - we were living in a military dictatorship but "together we are strong". Anyway, I loved the character of the lazy domesticated cat who got kicked out of the house because she couldn't resist the bohemian nights with the street cats. (The clip is from a classic movie they made after the LP)



3 - Egyptian cat at Louvre: when I was a kid, my father was married to a french woman that I adored - Iany. She took me many times to Louvre and great part of my love for art and cinema (see below) has to do with her. She guided me to become a super-curious-prematurely-exposed-to-a-LOT-of-adult-art kid. Unfortunately, they got a horrible separation which I could not entirely overcome up to this day. And I never got to thank her for all the positive influence she had on me.



4 - When the cat comes (Az prijde kocour): a Czech movie from the 60's about a cat who could see the true nature and emotions of people - and then people become "colored" accordingly: red for lovers, purple for liars, etc. Iany took me to see this movie and I loved it. She was also responsible for memorable movie theaters sessions: The Mahrabarata, Orson Welles, Almodóvar, etc, etc, etc - did I mention I was a kid when watched all of those movies??



5 - Confuse a cat- - I adore Monty Python. This is one of my favorite sketches. Sometimes I feel like my true calling is to be a cat confuser. And after the MPA/ID, we know that the best way to confuse a depressed cat is to have giraffes around...

It was a good Thursday

Thanks for dragging me to the concert. It turned a dull day into a Wagnerian experience.

The strange obsession of faith in life

Last Sunday I went to Milton Nascimento concert at Berklee. I have always liked Milton Nascimento but I would hardly consider myself a die-hard fan (as I am a Caetano or Chico Buarque fan).

However, to my complete surprise, I knew most lyrics of the songs and - even more surprising - seeing him performing live gave me goose bumps. His songs were a part of my early childhood: one of my first memories is my mom listening to his LP Ponta de Areia in our living room in the first house I have ever lived. My emotional memory is more linked to Milton Nascimento than I thought, all those images of my childhood flooded my mind thanks to the concert. It made me nostalgic and with saudades from my family.

Bonus soundtrack - Para Lennon e McCartney/Maria, Maria - probably two of his most famous songs, from where I took the quote. And it kind of fit me - I have a strange obsession of faith in life.